There’s something undeniably comforting about having a close-knit group of friends who truly understand and support you. In our early years, forming friendships often feels effortless. We’re surrounded by peers in school, college, and various social settings, making it easy to connect with like-minded individuals. But what happens when we step into adulthood, and those natural opportunities for bonding seem to dwindle? How do we navigate the challenge of making new friends when life takes us down different paths, or when we find ourselves in unfamiliar surroundings?

Whether it’s due to a significant life change, such as relocating during the pandemic, or simply entering a new phase of life, many of us eventually find ourselves searching for ways to build new connections. The good news is that making friends as an adult is a skill that can be honed and perfected. With the right approach and a bit of confidence, you can forge meaningful relationships at any stage of life. As a celebrity life coach and best-selling author of "Let It Be Easy," I’ve had the privilege of guiding countless individuals through this journey. Here are some practical tips I share with my clients to help them make friends as adults.

Start a Low-Stakes Conversation

Initiating a conversation might feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Think of it like pre-app dating—you need to get “out there” to meet new people. When I moved to Miami from New York, I found myself in a new city with few connections. I joined a Pilates class, and that’s where I met two wonderful friends. We started chatting after class, and a simple question like, “Do you come to this studio a lot? I’m new to it!” opened the door to a deeper conversation. People love sharing their experiences and recommendations, and you’ll gain valuable insights in the process.

The key is to frequent places where you’re likely to meet people with similar interests. Consider joining workout classes, book clubs, cafes, or attending social gatherings. Any common ground—a mutual friend, a shared hobby, or a favorite coffee shop—can serve as a perfect starting point for a new friendship.

Take the Initiative

In any potential relationship, someone has to take the first step. Why not let that person be you? You can start small by inviting someone for a coffee or a casual lunch. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but remember, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

If your initial invitation doesn’t work out, don’t be discouraged. Life is busy, and people have various commitments. When I first moved to New York, I met someone at a work event and asked her to lunch. She was getting married at the time, so she declined. A few weeks later, I asked again, and now, more than a decade later, we remain close friends. Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back. Taking the initiative becomes easier when you realize that life is full, and a “no” doesn’t have to be taken personally.

Be Specific About the Plan

It’s all too common to hear people say, “We should hang out sometime!” This vague statement often leads nowhere. If you genuinely want to connect with someone, be specific about the time and place. For instance, if you know someone is interested in a particular topic or activity, suggest a specific event or venue. If they mention being a vegan, you could say, “I heard a great vegan restaurant just opened up. Are you free next Thursday to try out their happy hour? It starts at 6!”

Being specific makes it easier for the other person to commit and increases the likelihood of the meet-up actually happening. It shows that you’re genuinely interested and makes the planning process more manageable.

Check In with Them

One of the most powerful ways to build a connection is to show genuine interest in the other person’s life. A simple check-in can go a long way. For example, if you know someone has an upcoming event, like a book launch or a marathon, send them a message to wish them well and offer your support. This small gesture demonstrates that you care and are paying attention to their life.

Remember the “give what you want to get” principle. If you want kind and supportive friends who check in on you, be that person first. This approach fosters a sense of mutual care and strengthens the bond between you and your new friend.

Keep It Chill

When you finally get together with your new friend, aim to be easygoing and pleasant to be around. Try to avoid rescheduling at the last minute, being late, or being overly demanding. I once had a date with a new friend who was 25 minutes late, and it made me reluctant to hang out again. While it’s important to honor your personal needs, showing respect, flexibility, and ease lays a solid foundation for future interactions.

Embrace Differences

Part of being an adult is learning to accept and appreciate others for who they are. A friend doesn’t have to agree with you on everything to have a meaningful relationship. Differences in opinions, lifestyles, or interests don’t have to be deal breakers. In fact, people who think differently can often teach us valuable lessons if we keep an open mind.

Focus on the common ground you share, whether it’s a love for travel, a favorite cuisine, or similar ambitions. Embracing a “live and let live” attitude can attract more friends and enrich your social circle.

Ask to Be Included

This might feel challenging, but it’s an effective strategy. Just as people often ask if you have single friends when they’re looking for a partner, you can do the same to find new friendships. A simple, “Hey, I’m looking to meet more cool people this year. I’d love to be included in any group activities you’re doing!” is straightforward and confident. People won’t know what you want if you don’t tell them. When an invitation comes your way, remember the tips above to ensure a positive experience.

The Benefits of Seeking New Friendships

Being self-assured in seeking out new friendships has numerous benefits. It opens you up to change and new experiences. Sometimes, these connections can lead to new career opportunities or a deeper understanding of the world. Fresh friendships can also help you grow as a person, bringing new perspectives and joy into your life.

Remember, making friends as an adult is supposed to be fun. Approach it with a positive attitude, and you’ll find that people are drawn to your energy. Embrace the journey, and you’ll discover that forming meaningful connections is possible at any stage of life. So go ahead, put yourself out there, and enjoy the process. You never know where these new friendships might take you!